You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.
The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.
What do you want to know?
You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own
The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation
Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?
We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case
Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are
Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):
If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically
Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS‘s signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind
I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that’s what you’re getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well… you ought not worry yourself with such matters
The elusive Ephemeral Emporium, fabled to traverse dimensions peddling an extensive selection of surreal and paranormal wares, has recently appeared in Cloud Village in the Circadian region of Himalia.
Residents of the Village seem relatively unperturbed by the abrupt materialisation of this enigmatic establishment. ‘So what if a shop selling a bunch of strange junk just turned up out of nowhere,’ one local told me. ‘I’ve seen stranger things in my time. It’s not half as weird as the stuff those Artisans get up to. Besides, it’s not like it’s hurting anybody.’ So far, three people have inexplicably vanished since the Emporium appeared, in addition to the destruction of the candle shop that occupied the space previously.
It’s unclear exactly why the Emporium has chosen to entify in this particular village, though to be completley honest we know hardly anything about this esoteric establishment at all; indeed, even the identity of the proprietor remains a mystery. Those who have visited the Emporium (and subsequently been able to recollect the encounter) describe wildly different accounts of their experiences, citing everything from labyrinthine corridors crowded with occult paraphernalia to intoxicating mists and flashes of arcane foolery; none however recall ever seeing the individual responsible for running the establishment. While journalistic curiosity would normally compel me to see such a place for myself firsthand, my desire to not fall prey to supernatural duplicity is understandably stronger.
Based on distant observation of the Emporium’s exterior wares, it would seem that those willing to make the frankly absurd decision to visit this ominous outlet can expect to find a whole manner of ethereal oddities. These range from everyday staples like your typical jar of storms and vase of futures, to more obscure articles such as what would appear to be some kind of amphora that doesn’t quite sit properly in this dimension and therefore has to constantly realign its molecular composition in order for its existence to remain theoretically plausible… and then of course there’re the crystals, because it’s simply impossible to go anywhere on Himalia without being bludgeoned with crystals.
For the less reckless, I’d advise you procure your household curiosities from Red Cloud Outpost, where the chances of meeting an untimely demise are greatly (though not entirely) diminished.
If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated
Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.
You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.
You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay.
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
