annual cheese contest finalists announced
The finalists of the acclaimed Interplanetary Cheese Contest have been announced, with Decharoni cheddar being voted the System’s favourite for the fourth cycle running.
The coveted Cheeseboard of Ages will once again find its home on Decharon, though not without incident. The award ceremony was brought to a premature end when Hruskel Dellamore, CEO of Enachan Red, stormed the stage claiming that ‘our sales were nearly double theirs last cycle! The only thing these charlatans deserve to be awarded with is a subpoena for LYING to the… hey, get your hands off me!’
Despite his controversial approach, many are rallying behind Dellamore, citing his claims as evidence of a darker conspiracy taking place on the capital.
‘This goes much deeper than cheese,’ said Mellenix Triszcal, who broadcasts the alternative radio station meridianTRUTH. ‘We’re seeing all kinds of deception being carried out by the establishment to further their agenda, with contest-rigging just one thread in the vast tapestry of lies that blankets our entire System. Collusion, whitewashing, gaslighting, they’re all rampant under McGuffin’s tyrannical administration, and they must be held accountable. If you want to know more about the blatant injustice that gets perpetrated every single day, then tune into meridianTRUTH — an island in the sea of lies.’
Banbury Rodoric-Rennet, president of the Caseicultural Institute responsible for overseeing the contest, had the following to say. ‘We take into consideration a number of factors when deciding on a winning candidate, of which gross market revenue is only one factor. Cheesemaking is a delicate art form and we pride ourselves on upholding the venerated traditions of our forbears, which for obvious reasons we can’t disclose to the likes of… well, you. The fact that we’re based on Decharon and receive a sizeable government subsidy has nothing to do with it and you can’t prove otherwise!’
More on this story as it matures.
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