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?

quentin

You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.

The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.

What do you want to know?

Where Am I?

You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own

The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation

SIGN UP FOR ORIENTATION
Can I Bring A Friend?

Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?

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I'd Like To Know More About What Exactly Is Going On Here

We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case

Where're The Restrooms?

Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are

I Like This Place! How Can I Support What You Do?

Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):

BUY US A COFFEE
BECOME A PATRON
BUY A SOUVENIR
VISIT THE LODGE

If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically

I Actually Came Over From The Nantaris By Mistake...

Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS's signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind

Who's In Charge Here?

I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that's what you're getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well... you ought not worry yourself with such matters

news
—
8-July-2021

consignment of malicious goods seized in carrow

Celdevere Seldira
Economics & Trade Correspondent
ballacross • business & economics • central meridian commonwealth • crime & punishment

A large number of dangerous items have been seized from the market town of Carrow on the Ballacross Plates, after local officials received intel from an unidentified informant that ‘something untoward is going on here you might want to come and have a look’ (a powerfully meaningless statement, given that it’s rare anything toward ever happens on the Plates). 

Over a thousand household items were recovered from an abandoned airship on the outskirts of the town, all of them infused with a variety of deadly curses outlawed by the 13 AC Safe Use of Magic Items Act. Amongst the worst offenders were a teapot incanted with the Boil-In-Your-Eye bedevilment, a clothes basket bearing Hemmel & Hertz’s proprietary plague Immediate Snakes (prohibited under the 70 AC “Spontaneous Serpents Amendment”), and a pair of mattresses suffused with the playfully-named but excruciatingly-experienced hex Nibble. A smaller cache of violent groceries was later uncovered from a warehouse in the Cimbral District, the owner of which was found dead from celery-related injuries in a back office. 

This comes after a shipment of defective timepieces intercepted by Decharoni customs officials was traced back to a fake address in the town, which turned out to be an unlicensed apothecary operated by a gentleman who insisted he knew ‘nothing about any faulty watch escapements, nobody ever escapes on my watch’ (he was later arrested on unrelated, much more sinister charges).

Local law enforcement are yet to identify a suspect, though they claim that they don’t think that anybody significant is behind this latest batch of contraband goods, as, to quote one particularly eloquent constable, ‘what would any criminal worth their pepper be doing wasting their time in this shithole?’ 

Chances are he’s not wrong, though the alarming volume of illicit trade that appears to be taking place in the town points either to a particularly well-organised criminal enterprise, or a particularly disorganised police force. It’s hard to say at this point which is the more plausible (and indeed, why not both?).

• • •

Celdevere Seldira graduated from Edenshoal University on Echo 64 with a distinction in Economics and Modern Artifice, joining the Portal as trade correspondent the following cycle. She has been instrumental in exposing numerous intrigues during her tenure, most notably the Vicarian Valley scandal and the mysterious deficit the Astral Market ran in 71AC (which turned out to just be a batch of haunted cash registers undoubtedly planted by the NANTARIS).

Celdevere currently resides on Sophia, where she works remotely in order to avoid the traffic on the Celestial Highroad.

Worried About Falling Behind?

If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification. 

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

PrevPrevious:further delays to enacha restoration
Next:more bodies turn up in alderwickNext
PrevPrevious
NextNext

In Other News:

16-November-2021

major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured

TD-VII
business & economics • minor calamities • science & technology
• • •
13-October-2021

mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods

Illion Winchester
occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries • zephra
• • •
11-October-2021

exposition recess prolonged due to forgotten password

Delwin Darberry-Drake
crime & punishment • minor calamities • portal news
• • •
16-November-2021

major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured

TD-VII
business & economics • minor calamities • science & technology
• • •
13-October-2021

mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods

Illion Winchester
occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries • zephra
• • •
11-October-2021

exposition recess prolonged due to forgotten password

Delwin Darberry-Drake
crime & punishment • minor calamities • portal news
• • •
31-August-2021

prescott westermount dies in custody

Nelecrae Vascero
crime & punishment • occultism & arcana • the illustrious & the infamous
• • •
30-August-2021

prison transport seized by tratnell berwind

TD-VII
barrier rondel • crime & punishment • occultism & arcana
• • •
26-August-2021

mysterious activity in abandoned factory

TD-VII
central meridian commonwealth • niamine • occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries
• • •

Share with your friends & show them what a snazzy cat you are:

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Fairly Interesting News
potentially dangerous magic discovered at bharvale academy
terrors in the night fields
lion’s paw festival due to begin on vera
glitch on caerys strands tourists in metaphysical oblivion
mysterious activity in abandoned factory
further delays to enacha restoration
portal data breach: technical hitch or malicious glitch?
prescott westermount dies in custody
tratnell berwind released from prison
objections to spaceport construction turn macabre
leviathan attack on the calandira docklands
consignment of malicious goods seized in carrow
monument to lion god ransacked by idiots
major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured
annual cheese contest cancelled under mysterious circumstances
innevere calderwit celebrates 200th birthday
annual cheese contest finalists announced
rising tension in the vera-sophia shared inner space
more bodies turn up in alderwick
ephemeral emporium appears in cloud village
prescott westermount arrested for stolen treasures
power cut on gindra station leaves billions in the dark
ghost ship sighted on the yawling sea
train crash on the barrier rondel leaves fourteen dead
elsiro’s apothecary to remain closed for good
longest ever fangle flight recorded on niamine
queen margot to leave niamark castle
prison transport seized by tratnell berwind
demons wreak havoc in herzel’s cradle
mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods
the orrery (finally) opens its doors

> Read more uplifting stories:

the sage of hyperia

Cera Deyamore

zephyr’s garden

Eva Zanskar

cloud village

Frisco Dias

> Or perhaps edify yourself with a book:

a brief history of the chaos, vol. I

Alberich Canderwell

meridian gods, vol. I: the goddess & the glacier

Cera Deyamore

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You Are Here:

Cosmic Library
The Orrery
Astral Market

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PORTAL ORIENTATION ENROLMENT FORM

• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights

• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course

• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect

On second thoughts, I'd rather not

PORTAL ORIENTATION ENROLMENT FORM

• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights

• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course

• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect

On second thoughts, I'd rather not

Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated

alright then
quentin

ATTENTION NEW ARRIVALS

Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.

You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.

You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay. 

SIGN UP FOR ORIENTATION

CONGRATULATIONS

You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.

You may now return to your prior deviations

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

CONGRATULATIONS

You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.

You may now return to your prior deviations

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

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