consignment of malicious goods seized in carrow
A large number of dangerous items have been seized from the market town of Carrow on the Ballacross Plates, after local officials received intel from an unidentified informant that ‘something untoward is going on here you might want to come and have a look’ (a powerfully meaningless statement, given that it’s rare anything toward ever happens on the Plates).
Over a thousand household items were recovered from an abandoned airship on the outskirts of the town, all of them infused with a variety of deadly curses outlawed by the 13 AC Safe Use of Magic Items Act. Amongst the worst offenders were a teapot incanted with the Boil-In-Your-Eye bedevilment, a clothes basket bearing Hemmel & Hertz’s proprietary plague Immediate Snakes (prohibited under the 70 AC “Spontaneous Serpents Amendment”), and a pair of mattresses suffused with the playfully-named but excruciatingly-experienced hex Nibble. A smaller cache of violent groceries was later uncovered from a warehouse in the Cimbral District, the owner of which was found dead from celery-related injuries in a back office.
This comes after a shipment of defective timepieces intercepted by Decharoni customs officials was traced back to a fake address in the town, which turned out to be an unlicensed apothecary operated by a gentleman who insisted he knew ‘nothing about any faulty watch escapements, nobody ever escapes on my watch’ (he was later arrested on unrelated, much more sinister charges).
Local law enforcement are yet to identify a suspect, though they claim that they don’t think that anybody significant is behind this latest batch of contraband goods, as, to quote one particularly eloquent constable, ‘what would any criminal worth their pepper be doing wasting their time in this shithole?’
Chances are he’s not wrong, though the alarming volume of illicit trade that appears to be taking place in the town points either to a particularly well-organised criminal enterprise, or a particularly disorganised police force. It’s hard to say at this point which is the more plausible (and indeed, why not both?).
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