You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.
The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.
What do you want to know?
You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own
The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation
Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?
We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case
Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are
Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):
If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically
Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS's signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind
I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that's what you're getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well... you ought not worry yourself with such matters
Filligree Worldbuilding Co., the terraforming company behind the wildly successful Karabine II and Caerys projects (and also the markedly less successful Karabine I fiasco), have announced that completion of the restoration of Encaha is likely to take ‘quite a bit longer than we anticipated the last time we said it was going to take quite a bit longer.’
Enacha has been in a critical state of recovery since The Chaos, being one of the planets most directly impacted by the cataclysm. The restoration contract was tendered to the Filligree Co. in 11 AC, who reluctantly accepted after Blunder & Botch were dismissed for handling the project precisely as their name would suggest.
Since then, Enacha’s recovery has been met with one complication after another, which, to quote the company’s most recent press release, ‘is what you get when you ask a fangle to build a moubou roost’ (an old Hyperian miners’ saying meaning ‘stop asking us to do stuff we’re not supposed to do’).
Riva Nax is head of the company’s Tectonic Rehabilitation division:
‘Typically when you build a planet, you’re working with a brand new surface, one that hasn’t been catastrophically decimated by a major celestial cataclysm (not always though — we do get the odd piece in from Terrestrial Salvage that would’ve seen better nights, but when it comes to sourcing parts on a planetary scale you can’t always afford to be picky).
That introduces complications that you don’t get when building from scratch. You lose a lot of control over the dynamic interplay between the planet’s elements.
For instance, we’re finding all kinds of Chaos-induced irregularities in Enacha’s fault line distribution that make plate-embedding an incredibly delicate task, and it forces us to adopt a pace that makes glacial look expedient in comparison. Which incidentally is an observation that Glett from Glaciology likes to keep making at our monthly progress reviews, despite the fact that the only ice on Enacha is in the mountain ranges, and that’s Orology’s remit so gods know why Glett is even in these meetings…”
There are rumours that the Enachan government have been pressuring (or according to some accounts, colluding with) the Filligree Co.’s board of directors to force a motion of no confidence in Falastacious Filligree’s leadership. But since it would be unprofessional to peddle such claims without substantiation, let’s reserve judgement until we have some more reliable evidence on the matter.
• • •
If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated
Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.
You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.
You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay.
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
