You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.
The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.
What do you want to know?
You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own
The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation
Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?
We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case
Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are
Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):
If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically
Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS‘s signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind
I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that’s what you’re getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well… you ought not worry yourself with such matters
The leading cybernetics manufacturer Maslaw Winterbiln & Pax has been forced recall millions of dollars-worth of products after a string of catastrophic incidents involving their products.
Several lines of cognitive modulators have been included in the recall, including the 77 series BIODRIVER and their hotly-anticipated (and now heavily-maligned) motorRUNNER 7800+. Consumers are also advised to avoid all models in the 75, 76 and 77 lines of the ConnectRITE implants until increased safety measures can be implemented.
The accidents caused as a result of these faulty products are as varied as they are grave.
Over 400 deaths have now been directly attributed to MWP implants. Included are dozens of accounts of parietal actuators causing people to uncontrollably jump hundreds of feet into the air (without the complimentary physiology to stick the landing), whilst others have reported seeing helpless victims spontaneously running off at speeds their legs were unable to match… to an unsurprisingly grisly end.
Other dysfunctions seem less commonplace but equally severe, and have been directly attributed to the cognitive defects as evidenced in pathophysiological reports.
Some of the worst xamples include: involuntary overriding of autonomic respiratory processes in brainstem causing sudden and violent asphyxiation; hyperstimulation of pathways terminating in limbic regions causing people to be fatally consumed by fits of rage, fear, or lust (the latter being, at least comparatively speaking, not a terrible way to go); and, in the case of some of the older models, constitutional activation in endocrine pathways resulting in chronic, irreversible hormone damage that is only now manifesting as a result of these dodgy cybernetics.
Top consumer attorney Wildwell Dalton will be representing several of the victims’ families, in what is expected to become a bellwether trial of hundreds more brought against MWP over the coming months:
“While there is always an element of risk involved in cybernetic modification, consumers should expect these products to work as expected. The sudden and alarming loss of control people have been experiencing as a result of using these implants — which are designed to enhance peoples’ lives, not end them — is a clear sign that manufacturers like MWP are failing in their responsibility to protect those who use and trust their products.”
The malfunctions are currently being attributed to cheap components and lazy wiring, though there may be reason to believe that something more intentional, and therefore more sinister, is at play here.
A spokesperson from MWP declined to comment, possibly due to a fault in their AFF (arcuate fasciculus facilitator) drive.
• • •
If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated
Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.
You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.
You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay.
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
