The town has been plagued by a string of murders over the last two weeks, which is especially poor timing given that Alderwick was voted the ‘System’s Most Boring Place’ for it’s seventh consecutive cycle last month.

Mayor Gadlaw Tarney appeared visibly flustered by the unwanted attention:

‘Alderwick really is the most unremarkable town you could ever hope to find, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happens here, and that’s exactly how we’d prefer to keep it. Certainly no illicit activities, I can assure you of that, none at all, unless you consider serial homicide to be an illicit activity, which we most certainly do. Frankly, we’d like to get to the bottom of this so we can put it behind us as soon as possible, and then we can get back to our perfectly normal lives which, as I said, categorically do not involve any kind of clandestine criminal enterprise…’

When I asked her if she had any notion of who might be behind the murders, the mayor merely gestured beyond the Wicker Mountains.

‘I’m not trying to insinuate that these killings have anything to do with our new neighbours, but you have to admit that it is a little odd that bodies start to show up in our truly unexceptional township the minute after they arrive. Bodies drained of blood, might I add. I am not a woman who casts aspersions, but the timing is a most unfortunate coincidence… if it in fact is a coincidence. But really that is a question you ought to be asking of the police, which shouldn’t be difficult; there’s plenty around here at the minute, and we emphatically welcome their presence in the solving of these terrible, terrible crimes. Though it would be nice if they could do it a bit quicker…’

Being in no rush to speak to DCI Dalton again after our previous encounter, I instead travelled to Little Wicket to speak with the neighbours the mayor alluded to, who, perhaps unsurprisingly, turned out to be a commune of vampires who had recently emigrated from Ephemera.

‘Well we of course strenuously deny any involvement in these appalling transgressions,’ said their village elder, Adam Vilchrest. ‘While I can see where they’re coming from (even if it is lazy to just blame the vampires), it’s poor form to move somewhere and immediately begin feasting on the locals. We need some time to settle ourselves in, get to know the area, perhaps do some of the touristy stuff; then we’ll see about engaging with the broader community in a more… traditional fashion.

‘No, I’m afraid you’ll have to enquire elsewhere to find your killer my dear, though I have to say, they’ve certainly done their homework — I’m rather intrigued as to who it might be. Be sure to stop by again when you find out who it is and let us know, we’d love to have you for dinner.’

At present, the police don’t appear to have any leads regarding the identity of the killer, though my guess is it’s somebody from rival town Gildamp trying to stir the pot. It will certainly be interesting to see if Alderwick can hold onto it’s mantle as the System’s Most Boring Place, as for a town where ‘absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happens’, they’re racking up quite the body count.