You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.
The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.
What do you want to know?
You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own
The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation
Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?
We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case
Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are
Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):
If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically
Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS's signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind
I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that's what you're getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well... you ought not worry yourself with such matters
An abandoned factory in the Darker Crestwood region of Hemlock, Niamine, has mysteriously resumed operation, despite the fact that nobody seems to have a clue what’s actually being made there, or — perhaps more ominously — on who’s instruction.
Decommissioned in the mid 60s, the factory was once the now-defunct airship manufacturer Grislebaum & Daughters & Son & One Half-Nephew’s principal assembly yard, until the company imploded due to family infighting (which absolutely nobody saw coming).
The site was then briefly used as a military hospital during the Whiskerwound Occupation — imbuing it with a selection of rather nasty bellicose curses — before becoming truly abandoned in 68 AC, when the ghost of the Headless Airman finally opted to go and haunt somewhere with better ventilation (turns out ghosts can still contract asthma, the sciology of which still isn’t fully understood).
Locals in nearby towns weren’t especially forthcoming when I tried to glean more detail from them about the factory’s recondite resumation, though I did manage to divine a half-spurious-at-best account from a gibbering idiot in Dellthorne:
‘It’s the screams, the screams in the night! They keep us awake, and set the dogs to barkin. Oh, the bedevilment, the terrors that transpire in that place… it’s enough to make you want to weep from the weight of it all. And the smell! The perpetual smell of crispy bacon, tantalising under brighter circumstance, no-so much when you don’t know who gave the meat. Even less-so much when you think you actually have a pretty good idea of who gave the meat… poor Edwin…
‘We did think to ask if they could be a fetch more neighbourly in their deviations, but it just seemed a little rude to impose. Besides, no one who goes near the place ever comes back, we saw fit to stop sending after a while. They all end up on the bus in the end… aye, the bus, the death carriage — a ghostly thing, terrible, truly terrible, to behold… takes them down the abandoned turnpike (still get charged the toll, though, thievin bastards) and to the abandoned shipyard, and from there, well, I wouldn’t dare to guess.’
‘Onto the abandoned cruise liner, perhaps?’ I ventured.
‘Sounds a little farfetched to me, but I’ll not disagree with you if that’s your believin.’
To offer an optimistic perspective, all of this could just be an honest attempt by some generous benefactor to revitalise the region’s abundantly stagnant infrastructure… though having just heard the screaming for myself, I’ll admit that the chances of that being the case aren’t excellent.
• • •
If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated
Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.
You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.
You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay.
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
