potentially dangerous magic discovered at bharvale academy
A new variety of magic has been discovered by scholars at Bharvale’s School of Devilry & Disillusion, which ‘may very well alter the shape of the cosmic landscape beyond all recognition.’
Chief Warlock Nexstrus Wizenhammer elaborated in a press conference:
‘My friends, we have succeeded here in divining one of the greatest mysteries of our field. To not only prove, once and for all, that there are new sorceries yet to be discovered, but to channel this particular sorcery, is testament to my department’s tireless dedication to the pursuit of the Higher Truths. That what we have learnt came at great existential cost (both philosophically and in actuality… rest in peace Argus) only sweetens the ichor of our success. Here we stand on the precipice of catamorphic change to our known reality. Let the Nightmares come!’
When asked (by an understandably alarmed-looking reporter from the Meridian Standard) what exactly this new magic actually does, Wizenhammer’s reply was characteristically ridiculous:
‘Mortals don’t need to concern themselves with the nature of our discovery. Just know that this is the advent of a prodigious change in our System’s history. Those with eyes to See will be rewarded thousandfold; those without will beg for blindness.’
Wizenhammer proceeded to dissipate in a needlessly ostentatious cloud of smoke, leaving the entire room in stunned silence (though those with ‘eyes to See’ saw him almost trip over his robes as he was heading out of the fire escape, proving that he has about as much respect for health and safety regulation as he does for the fabric of our reality).
All of this may sound like cause for concern, but I wouldn’t run off panicking for the time being. It’s common knowledge amongst the principle Magic Colleges that Wizenhammer is notorious for being morbidly hyperbolic, and I’m given to understand he was just as bleak when he was an accountant on Decharon. If we aren’t worried, you shouldn’t be either.
I’m willing to bet his ‘prodigious discovery’ amounts to little more than a spell for brewing coffee more efficiently. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d have concocted a gross exaggeration to justify an equally gross research grant, though the question of where that funding comes from does give me cause for concern…
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