You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.
The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.
What do you want to know?
You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own
The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation
Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?
We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case
Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are
Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):
If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically
Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS's signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind
I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that's what you're getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well... you ought not worry yourself with such matters
Last night, a power outage on solar amplification station Gindra left billions of people throughout the Coreward Worlds temporarily without light or heat, causing extensive disruption across the CMC.
Sources onboard the station claim that at around 23:45, fifteen minutes before the so-called ‘witching hour’ (a routine power flicker lasting around five minutes once per cycle), a major power surge in the central generator caused a complete shutdown of all solar expansion units, which function to amplify energy from the Godseye and potentiate it across the System. For just under an hour, the Coreward Worlds were engulfed in near-total darkness, accompanied by temperature drops as low as 20° (it’s alleged that nobody on Niamine actually noticed anything was wrong). Critics of the CMC administration are citing the incident as proof of the unreliability of having a centralised power grid — especially given Gindra’s antiquated tech capacity — with many detractors now mockingly referring to the station as McGuffin’s Light Switch.
Felderix Notch was the maintenance foreman on duty that night:
‘We’ve never seen anything like this before,’ he told me via video link. ‘Given the importance of Gindra in providing the entire System with solar energy, we have several back-up generators that we test regularly. In fact, routine inspections carried out just last week told us that our error ratio was 76% — that’s the lowest it’s ever been! So we’re all over here kind of scratching our heads really, we genuinely have no idea how the station went into complete shutdown because, frankly speaking, it shouldn’t actually be possible…’
The fact that Gindra is the only ‘live’ amplification station in the System has led to widespread speculation that last night’s incident was an act of sabotage. The localised nature of the occurrence coupled with the unlikelihood of it happening has prompted many to suggest that the event was an attack carried out by those who oppose the CMC — Zephra, as usual, is the number one suspect. Security footage has so far failed to highlight anything out of the ordinary, even when watched backwards, upside down or ‘through these special glasses what when you put them on you can see inside the colours and that’ (I have my suspicions regarding whether Gindra’s head of security is actually qualified to run such a vital department, but what do I know I’m a bot).
The CMC administration is currently considering the incident to be no more than a ‘cosmological blip’, though President McGuffin herself has so far declined to comment.
• • •
If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights
• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course
• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect
Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated
Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.
You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.
You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay.
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.
Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to
