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?

quentin

You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.

The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.

What do you want to know?

Where Am I?

You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own

The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation

SIGN UP FOR ORIENTATION
Can I Bring A Friend?

Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?

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I'd Like To Know More About What Exactly Is Going On Here

We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case

Where're The Restrooms?

Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are

I Like This Place! How Can I Support What You Do?

Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):

BUY US A COFFEE
BECOME A PATRON
BUY A SOUVENIR
VISIT THE LODGE

If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically

I Actually Came Over From The Nantaris By Mistake...

Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS's signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind

Who's In Charge Here?

I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that's what you're getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well... you ought not worry yourself with such matters

news
—
30-August-2021

prison transport seized by tratnell berwind

TD-VII
Tech Bot
barrier rondel • crime & punishment • occultism & arcana

Tratnell Berwind has wasted no time in showcasing why his early release was a brilliant idea, as he intercepts a prison transport vessel bound for Fort Misery mere weeks after walking free from custody himself.

The incident occurred yesternight evening along the Clasping Finger Bone Expanse just outside the Barrier Rondel, in something of an unexpected departure from Berwind’s usual vocation of terrorising innocent traders. 

That he would choose to target a vessel carrying nothing of any discernible economic value might seem bizarre at first, until you recall that Berwind is ruthlessly calculated in matters of nefariousness. This is not a man to act without reason, at least for the most part… after all, he did manage to get himself arrested for extreme intoxication, which doesn’t exactly scream impulse control — though even then he managed to avoid being charged for any of his truly terrible crimes.

The vessel was held captive for just under two hours (assuming the flight log wasn’t also tampered with), before being released in an uncharacteristic display of mercy from a crew that typically prefers to play with it’s food. CO Balquis Tilderbilt was the officer piloting the transport:

‘Well, we obviously felt on edge the minute we saw the ship come upon us, but everyone knows Berwind’s a pirate, we didn’t think he’d have any interest in what we were carrying! Well, we were wrong — obviously — he was very much interested in us. Well, not us exactly, but who we had on board. We don’t know who it was specifically though; he had a bloody sorcerer with him, froze us right where we were in the cab which was horrible cos my nose was really itchy the whole time…

‘We got grilled when we got back to the Fort. We fort, I mean, thought they were gonna blame us for everything, but they brought in an ordimancer from Burnt Eye to come and check us out and she said there wasn’t anything we could have done. She also said this sorcerer couldn’t have been very good as the spell hadn’t percolated properly, otherwise we wouldn’t even have been aware we’d been frozen, but I guess it’s hard to find a decent wizard these days, with all the budget cuts at Bharvale.

‘Honestly I’m glad they just froze us instead of killing us or something. I’m guessing they wanted it to look like they were never there, but they cocked that one up didn’t they? Now I think about it, I remember there was quite a lot of arguing amongst Berwind’s crew. It really didn’t sound like things were going to plan, and there was definitely a bit of a scuffle at one point. You don’t think they were trying to… I’m sorry, I need to go and speak to my CM right away, sorry… bye!’

When asked whether this rapid display of recidivism constituted the ‘personal development and self-reflection’ alluded to in his previous statement, Berwind’s legal counsel Vilwood Caperwaul merely shrugged and said ‘well, you have to admire the man’s integrity. Captain Berwind is true to himself, which is more than most of us can say. That that self happens to be a notorious criminal menace is just par for the course really. Everything comes at a price, including my time, so if you don’t want me to start billing you I suggest you get out of my office.’

Berwind’s whereabouts are presently unknown, as is his motive for seizing the transport — though I think we can all have a pretty good guess as to what his plan was there. I’ve contacted an old coworker of mine at Fort Misery to see if she knows anything, though because of DDPR I imagine she won’t be able to tell me very much even if she does.

• • •

TD-VII was formerly a custodial manager at Encara's prison capital Virhammer, retiring after a particularly creative security breach resulted in several of his core components being replaced with those of various household appliances. If anything, this ordeal just made him stronger, not to mention 15% more optimised for breakfast time owing to his now being a certified robot/toaster hybrid.

Worried About Falling Behind?

If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification. 

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

PrevPrevious:mysterious activity in abandoned factory
Next:prescott westermount dies in custodyNext
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In Other News:

16-November-2021

major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured

TD-VII
business & economics • minor calamities • science & technology
• • •
13-October-2021

mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods

Illion Winchester
occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries • zephra
• • •
11-October-2021

exposition recess prolonged due to forgotten password

Delwin Darberry-Drake
crime & punishment • minor calamities • portal news
• • •
16-November-2021

major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured

TD-VII
business & economics • minor calamities • science & technology
• • •
13-October-2021

mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods

Illion Winchester
occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries • zephra
• • •
11-October-2021

exposition recess prolonged due to forgotten password

Delwin Darberry-Drake
crime & punishment • minor calamities • portal news
• • •
31-August-2021

prescott westermount dies in custody

Nelecrae Vascero
crime & punishment • occultism & arcana • the illustrious & the infamous
• • •
26-August-2021

mysterious activity in abandoned factory

TD-VII
central meridian commonwealth • niamine • occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries
• • •
22-August-2021

queen margot to leave niamark castle

Nelecrae Vascero
cultural affairs • moons of zephra • occultism & arcana • vera
• • •

Share with your friends & show them what a snazzy cat you are:

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Fairly Interesting News
prescott westermount dies in custody
rising tension in the vera-sophia shared inner space
train crash on the barrier rondel leaves fourteen dead
portal data breach: technical hitch or malicious glitch?
mysterious activity in abandoned factory
glitch on caerys strands tourists in metaphysical oblivion
queen margot to leave niamark castle
longest ever fangle flight recorded on niamine
more bodies turn up in alderwick
innevere calderwit celebrates 200th birthday
annual cheese contest finalists announced
ghost ship sighted on the yawling sea
potentially dangerous magic discovered at bharvale academy
leviathan attack on the calandira docklands
major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured
objections to spaceport construction turn macabre
power cut on gindra station leaves billions in the dark
elsiro’s apothecary to remain closed for good
lion’s paw festival due to begin on vera
further delays to enacha restoration
prescott westermount arrested for stolen treasures
mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods
consignment of malicious goods seized in carrow
tratnell berwind released from prison
demons wreak havoc in herzel’s cradle
prison transport seized by tratnell berwind
the orrery (finally) opens its doors
terrors in the night fields
annual cheese contest cancelled under mysterious circumstances
ephemeral emporium appears in cloud village
monument to lion god ransacked by idiots

> Read more uplifting stories:

tranquil peak

Bayard Brasko

astral glade

Harlow

primordial forest

Frisco Dias

> Or perhaps edify yourself with a book:

a brief history of the chaos, vol. II

Alberich Canderwell

meridian gods, vol. I: the goddess & the glacier

Cera Deyamore

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Astral Market

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PORTAL ORIENTATION ENROLMENT FORM

• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights

• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course

• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect

On second thoughts, I'd rather not

PORTAL ORIENTATION ENROLMENT FORM

• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights

• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course

• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect

On second thoughts, I'd rather not

Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated

alright then
quentin

ATTENTION NEW ARRIVALS

Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.

You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.

You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay. 

SIGN UP FOR ORIENTATION

CONGRATULATIONS

You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.

You may now return to your prior deviations

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

CONGRATULATIONS

You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.

You may now return to your prior deviations

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

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