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?

quentin

You appear a little lost; why else would one engage a mysterious question mark? To that end, allow me to take the opportunity to clarify a couple of points for you.

The name’s Quentin. I’m head of Quality Assurance on board this Boundary Station, and it is therefore my sworn duty to ensure all questions, queries and concerns are addressed to the highest professional standard.

What do you want to know?

Where Am I?

You are on board the FBS VIVAELLIPSIS; the finest vessel of the Exposition Fleet launched from Niamine 10 cycles ago, in response to our most recent cataclysm, the Colossus Tear. We occupy a region of the Meridian System known as the Yawling Twist, about a three night drive from the Coreward Worlds. And yes, we are in a dimension quite different from your own

The look on your face suggests I’ve exacerbated your confusion. I’d encourage you to enrol onto Portal Orientation: a lecture series devised by yours truly, wherein I can elaborate and elucidate beyond this cursory explanation

SIGN UP FOR ORIENTATION
Can I Bring A Friend?

Newcomers are always welcome on board out station. Might I suggest some mediums by which you might bring them over?

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I'd Like To Know More About What Exactly Is Going On Here

We are here to elucidate newcomers to the peculiarities of our reality. If Portal Orientation doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps subscribing to Exposition Broadcasts would be more your speed; it’s certainly more leisurely, in any case

Where're The Restrooms?

Over by the Dimension Gates. You walked passed them in order to come and ask me where they are

I Like This Place! How Can I Support What You Do?

Ah, a commendable display of charitability! Allow me to deploy a remote support vendor (lest you wish to walk all the way over to the kiosk and run the risk of having to deal with that wastrel Tully):

BUY US A COFFEE
BECOME A PATRON
BUY A SOUVENIR
VISIT THE LODGE

If monetary support wasn’t what you had in mind, might you consider spreading the word about our own dimension once you return to your own? In any case, all support is appreciated equally and emphatically

I Actually Came Over From The Nantaris By Mistake...

Then I suggest you go back there before the absence of the NANTARIS's signature brand of mediocrity warps your mind

Who's In Charge Here?

I am sufficiently high up the management ladder for you to be dealing with, if that's what you're getting at. Otherwise, Madam Kiara Drake is our VP, and as for the President, well... you ought not worry yourself with such matters

news
—
30-July-2021

terrors in the night fields

Elena Lancaster
Wildlife Reporter
central meridian commonwealth • karabine II • wildlife & conservation

Over the last several nights, reports of a terrifying presence have been flooding in from all across the Calandira Night Fields on Karabine II.

This usually picturesque valley has found itself paralysed in the jaws of an all-consuming fear, with residents from Yharida, Uirm, Vangerdale, Underset and the Andira Garden Territories all claiming to be ‘just too afraid’ to leave their houses at night (which, given that it’s always night in Calandira, poses quite the inconvenience).

Although several locals have corroborated the stories of unspeakable horrors stalking the Fields, so far none have been able to give me any kind of useful description of what exactly it is they’re being haunted by (I suppose that’s what makes said horrors unspeakable).

One gentleman, a cobbler from the outskirts of Underset, told me through a bolted window:

‘My mate Terrance, right, he said it was a hoax yeah, and there was nothing to worry about because people were just getting themselves wound up over nothing, and that he wasn’t letting a bit of paranoia get in the way of him and his midnight stroll. Well guess who hasn’t been seen since last Ionight? Yeah, that’s right, Terrance. Sorry, but the man is a goner, and serves him right too, because I told him to stay inside and wait for this to pass, but he doesn’t listen to me ever, does he, the big idiot. Anyway, you oughta get yourself inside lady, because they’ll come for you like they did Terrance, whether you think it’s a hoax or not.’

Urgo Hengerswerth, Head of the Department for Regional Catastrophes in Calandira City, was aggressively dismissive of the issue:

‘Look, these people are always looking for reasons to not do any work. In Lyra it was an unconfirmed bout of the woolies, in Selena it was an overwhelming mulworp infestation (a species you won’t even find on Karabine II outside of a domestic setting, as I’m sure you’re aware), and if I recall correctly, in Harlow it was just “a generalised miasma of demotivation”. I’m telling you, the only thing haunting these folks is the all-consuming spirit of pathological malingery.’

I have my doubts as to whether ‘the spirit of pathological malingery’ can account for the alarming roster of missing persons in the region, but then again we all remember the Incongruity Fiasco of 62, so I’ll reserve my scepticism until we know for sure what exactly it is that is truly terrorising Calandira.

• • •

Elena Lancaster is an ecology graduate from Seven Sails Academy on Echo 64, where she was one of only three candidates not to pursue a doctorate in marine bionomics. She is a leading authority on ulgrahzees and tartered byx, and specialises in species of arcane and Chaotic origin.

Elena resides in Ambit Village on the Portal's fourth floor, having famously renounced her claim to the Lancaster fortune by refusing to marry an obscure Outer Meridian prince.

Worried About Falling Behind?

If keeping pace with the periodicity of expositionary promulgation invokes in you a foreboding sense of trepidation, our scholar drones are on hand to courier missives direct to your inbox to ensure your continued edification. 

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

PrevPrevious:glitch on caerys strands tourists in metaphysical oblivion
Next:innevere calderwit celebrates 200th birthdayNext
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NextNext

In Other News:

16-November-2021

major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured

TD-VII
business & economics • minor calamities • science & technology
• • •
13-October-2021

mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods

Illion Winchester
occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries • zephra
• • •
11-October-2021

exposition recess prolonged due to forgotten password

Delwin Darberry-Drake
crime & punishment • minor calamities • portal news
• • •
16-November-2021

major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured

TD-VII
business & economics • minor calamities • science & technology
• • •
13-October-2021

mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods

Illion Winchester
occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries • zephra
• • •
11-October-2021

exposition recess prolonged due to forgotten password

Delwin Darberry-Drake
crime & punishment • minor calamities • portal news
• • •
31-August-2021

prescott westermount dies in custody

Nelecrae Vascero
crime & punishment • occultism & arcana • the illustrious & the infamous
• • •
30-August-2021

prison transport seized by tratnell berwind

TD-VII
barrier rondel • crime & punishment • occultism & arcana
• • •
26-August-2021

mysterious activity in abandoned factory

TD-VII
central meridian commonwealth • niamine • occultism & arcana • unsolved mysteries
• • •

Share with your friends & show them what a snazzy cat you are:

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Fairly Interesting News
prescott westermount dies in custody
ghost ship sighted on the yawling sea
mysterious activity in abandoned factory
queen margot to leave niamark castle
power cut on gindra station leaves billions in the dark
lion’s paw festival due to begin on vera
train crash on the barrier rondel leaves fourteen dead
longest ever fangle flight recorded on niamine
prison transport seized by tratnell berwind
demons wreak havoc in herzel’s cradle
major cybernetics recall after hundreds fatally injured
more bodies turn up in alderwick
consignment of malicious goods seized in carrow
innevere calderwit celebrates 200th birthday
rising tension in the vera-sophia shared inner space
objections to spaceport construction turn macabre
elsiro’s apothecary to remain closed for good
monument to lion god ransacked by idiots
tratnell berwind released from prison
leviathan attack on the calandira docklands
annual cheese contest finalists announced
ephemeral emporium appears in cloud village
portal data breach: technical hitch or malicious glitch?
glitch on caerys strands tourists in metaphysical oblivion
mysterious monolith in the valley of the faceless gods
further delays to enacha restoration
annual cheese contest cancelled under mysterious circumstances
terrors in the night fields
prescott westermount arrested for stolen treasures
the orrery (finally) opens its doors
potentially dangerous magic discovered at bharvale academy

> Read more uplifting stories:

cloud village

Frisco Dias

primordial forest

Frisco Dias

serene vale

Harlow

> Or perhaps edify yourself with a book:

meridian gods, vol. I: the goddess & the glacier

Cera Deyamore

a brief history of the chaos, vol. I

Alberich Canderwell

You Are Here:

The Orrery
Cosmic Library
Astral Market

You Are Here:

Cosmic Library
The Orrery
Astral Market

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PORTAL ORIENTATION ENROLMENT FORM

• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights

• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course

• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect

On second thoughts, I'd rather not

PORTAL ORIENTATION ENROLMENT FORM

• Portal Orientation consists of eight lectures delivered over sixteen nights

• Attendance will be monitored, and failure to attend will result in your removal from the course

• There will be prizes for those displaying a certain degree of aptitude

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to commit to such an exposition-intensive experience, you may wish to view the first lecture here first to get an idea of what to expect

On second thoughts, I'd rather not

Exposition Broadcasts currently consists of one email every seven nights, highlighting articles from our catalogue that will help you get to know our reality. We occasionally send additional stuff, like if something interesting happens or the Portal needs to be evacuated

alright then
quentin

ATTENTION NEW ARRIVALS

Welcome aboard. The name’s Quentin, and I’m Head of Quality Assurance.

You will notice this is a very busy terminal, and it’s not uncommon for travellers to go missing. To that end, I strongly advise you sign up for Portal Orientation, as we cannot be held liable for any misfortune that may befall you on account of your own ignorance.

You have been duly advised as per standard protocol. Enjoy your stay. 

SIGN UP FOR ORIENTATION

CONGRATULATIONS

You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.

You may now return to your prior deviations

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

CONGRATULATIONS

You successfully entered your own email address. There won’t be any prizes for that I’m afraid, but it’s nice to know you’re at least capable of writing. The next step is to go to your inbox and confirm your sentience; you won’t be enrolled until you do.

You may now return to your prior deviations

Your privacy is very dear to us. You can eyeball the terms of our privacy policy here. And of course, you can unsubscribe whenever you want to

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